Good for the Gander…

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“Mental heath problems can be something perceived as ‘cool’ that, unfortunately, a few young women are aping the symptoms of because they get a kick out of having a specific, mainly Bipolar Disorder, diagnosis. It’s a real bummer.” – My CPN.

Do I buy that? For my part there’s no ‘aping’ required because I really do have my diagnosis, but it did get me thinking about some of the people I’ve met along the therapy way. Am I doubting their stories now? Are they any less factual than my own? I think, with one exception, the answer is an emphatic No.

This one particular guy seemed ok to me, friendly, normal conversations, normal appearance, pretty bog-standard kind of guy I guess. Not at all how you’d expect somebody with Bipolar Disorder, Borderline Personality Disorder, Multiple Personality Disorder, Autism, Dissociative Disorder, and OCD to behave. And he supposedly had all of those diagnoses.

Nah, this is turning mean. It’s not meant to be. I’m a bit lost today. Things are slightly out of focus, shifted a little out of view. I’m not expecting to find much positive in today. I’m floating away on a barrel of mental pain today; self-doubt, self-hatred, and all the rest of the shitty construct.

Here’s some snippets from my latest Psychological valuation:

“..engages in self attacking mode which expresses itself through his cognitions.”

“Should be encouraged to engage in rational thinking when he begins to experience paranoid ideation.”

“..risks are likely to increase in times of stress; as such requires regular monitoring.”

Not ground breaking reading for anyone out there. Nothing extraordinary or worthy of bragging about to friends. That’s why you know but my partner will never read my reports.

Yeah, it’s a real bummer of a day today. The diazepam is calling, maybe some weed too. Who knows? At some point I will be the laughing stock of some innocent conversation or train of thought. Today is a good day for that to happen. I recommend it, folks. Hate on me too.

 

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